kangen dari Tulsa

Di malam ini cukup sejuk ditemani laptop yang sudah hampir 2 tahun akrab dengan ku. Laptop pinjaman kantor untuk kerja sehari-hari. Pikiranku malam ini terbang jauh sekali lewati Pasifik sampai ke Kepulauan nan Indah bernama Indonesia sana. Aku kangen dengan keluarga ku, 2 minggu lagi aku baru bisa bertemu lagi dengan mereka.

Aku begitu kangen karena ada momen paskahan dengan mereka. Tuhan, aku memang belum bisa bertemu mereka tapi aku cuma bisa berdoa semoga mereka semua dalam keadaan baik2 saja disana dan selalu Kau jagai dan Kau berkati selalu. Aku selalu percaya pada-Mu Bapa. Amin.

surat dari Tulsa

Sudah lama gak mengisi blog ini. Sudah begitu banyak cukilan2 cerita dalam hidupku terjadi dalam rentang waktu itu yang sebenarnya sayang juga tidak sempat aku tuliskan dalam blog ini. Anyway, sekarang mau coba kembali aktif tulis menulis di blog ini lagi.

Malam ini aku teringat suatu waktu di kamar kos di kota Kudus. Aku habiskan waktu 1 tahun 2 bulan di kota santri itu bekerja di PT. Pura Barutama (perusahaan pembuat hologram). Dalam rentang waktu itu, suatu malam aku pernah berdoa sungguh pada Tuhan. Aku doakan doa itu dalam beberapa malam dengan sungguh2 tekun.

Isi doanya:

"Tuhan, jiwa raga hati dan pikiranku adalah milik-Mu. Terjadilah pada-Ku menurut kehendak-Mu. Jika Engkau berkenan, utuslah aku keliling dunia dan buatlah aku untuk mengeluarkan segala kemampuan ku sampai pada batasnya. Aku percaya Engkau selalu besertaku. Amin."

Hmmm...dan perlahan tapi pasti hari2 berlalu, hidupku di kota kudus yang aku anggap cukup monoton, menjadi berubah dinamis. Diawali dengan aku mendaftar ke Schlumberger dan diterima. Dan memang benar, di perusahaan baru ini aku dituntut untuk bekerja sampai pada batas ku bahkan kadang di luar batas. Memang benar pula, akhirnya aku perlahan mengenal dunia di luar Indonesia. Aku pergi ke Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Doha, Houston, dan Oklahoma. Aku merasa doaku dikabulkan dan aku sedang menjalaninya.

Aku sungguh bersyukur tapi di satu sisi aku dituntut untuk komitmen karena sekarang aku bekerja dan berkarya bener2 sampai batas2 ku. Aku bekerja disini sekarang di bidang Engineering. Selama aku kuliah tidak ada hubungannya dengan Engineering sama sekali. Yah mungkin ada beberapa mata kuliah yang berbau Engineering tapi itu porsinya kecil sekali.

Well, aku sekarang sudah hampir 2 tahun disini dan sepertinya perjalananku masih akan terus dalam beberapa tahun ke depan. Aku tidak tahu akan berhenti di mana. Sampai sekarang aku masih enjoy dan terbiasa dengan ritme kerjanya.

Inspirator nomer satuku (my father) selalu bilang kalau "gak ada yang gak bisa karena yang ada hanya orang malas" bener2 merasuk ke ubun2 dan tulang2ku. Dan doa dari ibu selalu membuat ku lancar dalam perjalananku. Aku selalu percaya kalau ibu selalu berdoa untukku dari jauh disana. Walaupun dia jauh disana mendoakan ku, tapi aku bisa merasakan kehangatan doanya (agak absurd,,,)

Aku masih berjanji pada ibuku untuk mengajaknya ke tempat Sang Juruselamat pernah datang. Aku yakin kalau aku bisa menepati janji itu. Akan kubawa ibuku ke Yerusalem, Bethlehem. Tempat penuh pencerahan.

Doakan aku ibu, supaya rejeki yang kukumpulkan sekarang bisa kelak cukup membawamu ke tempat Sang Juruselamat pernah datang.

Berkah dalem - noel @ Tulsa.

Time to change myself

Changing myself seems more difficult than thinking that we can make a change toward our surrounding. It really does so real. Sometimes I feel from the background knowledge I got in the university, school, or informal activities, I can change everything I want. In the reality,what I feel never goes to be a 100 % successful. It really consumes so much energy and concentration.

However, some master told me that we learn from the mistakes we made. That experience will remain in our long term memory. I believe the perfect perspective in theory really needs to be considered when implemented in the real world. I have to learn how to change myself in order to be fit with the role needed in my surrounding.

Hopefully, mistakes and failure in the past drive me into somewhere brighter than before. All I need to do is ready to make changes and transformation into the role needed in my environment.

biking in midweek

Starting this day at 5 am in the dawn, I went for biking. Finally, I went for biking because it had been one month waiting for this opportunity since my red-silver mountain bike parked in the dark corner of my boarding house's parking space. I started my biking journey at the boulevard of Kudus (people called this as Simpang Tujuh). I took one bowl of Bubur Kacang Ijo before boosting my bike the north of Kudus (Colo).

Well, I went biking with my office fellow named Imam. In the road we met people who were on the same destination : biking to the northern Kudus. The road was good so that I could ride my bike really well but the road was getting higher and higher. It was so hard. My breath was not steady. My heart beat was rising. Wow. It was so tough. After riding for 1,5 h, I saw the finish line.The finish line was a humble home as coffee shop called Getukan.

Taking a rest for half an hour with a glass of milk and 3 pieces of gorengan made my energy back although both of my legs felt so heavy. My heavy legs would be okay because the trip for home was down the hill and not consuming so much energy.

I was wrong!!! my fellow asked me to join a group who was going to home with an off-road track. I joined because It might be challenging and I was completely right. It was challenging so much. The track was full of rock and clay.

Afterward, I got home and I found both of my legs were heavier than before. It was so hard to make a step at stairs.

Well, this trip was so unforgettable.

starting my day without labeling things

Starting this day with several expectations didn't help me to throw away my worry. Those expectations created a heavy box in my shoulder that I should bring all day long. I just realize it this time. Labeling things or persons before getting in touch with them drives me to be a justified person, a person who always worries with something in the future ( image that is created by mind ).

A well-known phrase " do not ever judge a book by its cover" is really meaningful in my daily life.We shouldn't judge a person by the way he/she smiles, talks, and sees.

Life is so unpredictable. That is why that today is a present for everyone. Today is a real present if we perceive that every moment in one day is a surprise for us. For example, it's a great present to know that we can still take a breath to support our life.

Let's learn how to be surprised everyday by not labeling things or persons in our surrounding. We together are making surprises to every single thing in this world.

fitting myself wthin the whole universe

Entering a new place or a new community may suffer a lot. The word "suffer" may come if I found that it is difficulty to be clicked with the stream of a new atmosphere lied in a new place or a new community.Well, I am not an expert who has many experiences of joining a new atmosphere surrounding me but I can share from my few experience of being "alienated for a while"

Firstly, I realized the word "suffer" when I moved to Jogja after my graduation on Elementary school in Jakarta. In Jogja, everything I looked seemed differently with I felt in my hometown, Jakarta. I suffered because my accent, my daily language, and my appearance didn't fit yet within my new environment. Well, sufferance that I experienced doesn't mean that I shall move to another place afterward. In fact, I have spent my childhood in Jakarta for 12 years. Jogja??? just one year lower. Now, I feel so lucky having experiences living in Jogja. Jakarta is my childhood and Jogja is my growing age (hahahaha).

I conclude that sufferance makes me strong because it stimulates me to adapt creatively in order to be fit within the new atmosphere. I also learn that social networking can be established naturally when I open my heart and accept the differences lied between others. I should say that differences really complete me.

this afternoon...

This afternoon, I went out from my house to Campus. Well, I passed an elementary school located near my house more or less 500 m. Suddenly, I was stopped by a boy. He asked me to pick him to the near bus terminal. I was in silent for a minute and questioning that how brave he was...That situation certainly remind me when I was in Junior High School. At that time, every day I had to take a bus for back home and walk for 1,5 km in a hot or rainny day. I was a little bit lucky when somebody passed and offered me for a ride.

well, I was no doubt to take that little boy to the near terminal although it made me picking a longer trip to the campus. At that moment I saw a boy who had the same problem with me when I was in junior high. I also could feel a happiness he received from this situation. I might say that I saved his life but I am certainly no doubt that I did a good thing. A good thing that was done by several people who were saving my life from a hot or rainny day when I was in Junior High.

what a lovely...